Thursday, August 22, 2013

I have been reminded that I did indeed set a weight loss goal along with my word count goal, and in a [what I thought to be] brilliant bit of thinking, decided that the only way I can get 250 miles in before the Scotland trip in April would be to dictate all my writing.

That's right. I hunted down the best price for Dragon Naturally Speaking software and intended to purchase it. I figured it couldn't have much more of a learning curve than learning Scrivener, Dr. Wicked, or getting used to writing on my Alphasmart.

My husband suggested I do the trial thing. I hate to do the trial thing. It shows a definite lack of faith to do the trial thing and I was ready to commit. I imagined getting so caught up in my stories that I would walk 2 and three miles a day. I imagined Rock Jr. racing his bike around the walking path at the nearest city park that is conveniently a mile in diameter. I tried to remember what it was like to be much smaller than I am now.

I decided to wait until Payday to get the software. But in my excitement, I thought there was no time like the present to get warmed up, to get that training started. So I isolated myself, made sure no one would be listening in, then I opened my mouth and tried to tell a stupid little story. A 'Once upon a  time' story that wasn't exciting at all. But the words did not flow off the end of my tongue like they do from the ends of my fingers.

There is a magic that happens when I type. I think a few words and they appear on the screen as I think them. Sometimes I wonder if they are not popping up there on their own and I'm only reading them as they appear. But that's silly. *ahem* Right?

Now. I've been accused, from time to time throughout my life, that I often speak before thinking. I suppose I was kind of counting on that paying off this week. But it seems as though I'm going to actually have to put a bit of effort into my writing if I'm going to make dictation work.

The scariest part? The fear of Speaker's Block. What if I open my mouth and nothing comes out? Since this is exactly what happened when I first tried to dictate a story, I'm terrified. I'm also terrified of my husband telling me "Didn't I suggest you get a trial copy first?" if I go ahead and buy it and force myself to try harder, only to fail.

Then I realized THIS is what keeps people from writing, even though they want desperately to write. THIS is what keeps some writers from turning in any word count at all. This is what keeps the ambitious from ever leaving the gate, keeps the What-if-I-can't-do-its from sitting down and daring to type crap.

And if we could give the What-if-I-can't-do-its our best advice? Wouldn't it be to forge ahead. Don't give up. It will get easier. Don't be afraid.

So. Here I go, talking myself into trying the dictation thing. I do want to lose the weight. I do want to be able to walk around Scotland--not hike, of course, but walking without the need of being buried overseas.

I'll let you know how it goes.

So. Here's my report for today.
Another human day. Spent 2 1/2 hours in the dentist's chair today. 2 1/2 freaking hours!

On the bright side, I did not waste time watching TV. The kitchen disaster did get cleaned, thanks to the Rock. But hey, it's done. And I didn't waste a lot of time on the internet.

Again, got no work done on the synopsis. I am pretty sure it's my way of putting off the next thing after that, which is to edit Isobelle. But even knowing that's why I'm doing it didn't help me get over it today.

However, Dr. Supe informs me that tomorrow is yet another day. I'm going to bed early so I can get up earlier than usual to get started. Gonna exercise and everything. And maybe I'll amble over to Office Max for a Dragon.